Nine Invisible Barriers to a Civilized Divorce

Making the decision to get a divorce or coming to grips with our spouse's decision to divorce is never easy. However, once we finally accept that our marriage is headed for a divorce, we find ourselves facing the next difficulty. Since most people don't like anguish or wasting our money, the next difficulty is to minimize the pain and cost of divorce.

We want to get the settlement that we deserve, without having to waste time, energy, and money to get it. The best way to achieve this is to accomplish a friendly out-of-court settlement as quickly and easily as possible. To do so we must be able to persuade our soon-to-be ex to work with us in obtaining a cooperative resolution - one that is to our liking.

Invisible Set

Before being able to reasonably expect to do this, we must be aware of the invisible obstacles that stand in our way. How we choose to handle these obstacles can often spell the difference between a peaceful divorce and a train wreck.

Some obstacles are everyday, common sense things that we already are somewhat familiar with. However, very few are understood how truly destructive they can be. Without some forewarning, we would normally ignore them and minimize their impact.

The following are the nine invisible barriers:

1. One of the parties does not want a divorce.
2. The parties have different decision-making styles.
3. We don't know how to get through to our spouse.
4. Feelings count more than the money.
5. Too much focus on finger-pointing.
6. Divorce papers make people upset.
7. A spouse is set on vengeance because of feelings of being wronged.
8. There is a misconception on what our rights are.
9. We underestimate the fury we may face.

For more information on each of these invisible barriers, please visit our blog at http://www.chicagodivorceattorney-blog.com/beware-the-unforseen-deal-killers/

Nine Invisible Barriers to a Civilized Divorce

Kari L. Cornelison is a family law attorney and mediator, who emphasizes the settlement approach to divorce. She and her partner serve the DuPage and Cook County areas. Their website is www.CivilizedDivorce.com. Visit their blog, ChicagoDivorceAttorney-Blog.com for more tips and information on what you can do before, during and after the divorce process.